missycola, Planet Cola -

I need to change my newly started column, because it’s not just questions targeted at me but also just awkward and funny things people say to me:

Boy, about 12 years old: “Are you from Germany?”
Me: “Yes.”
Boy: “When I thought of Germany I always thought of Nazis, but now I know you and will always think of you.” He gave me the biggest smile as wide as he was.

missycola, Planet Cola -

For a while now I’m never from wherever I live. Does this make sense? LOL
Back in Australia I should have started this column “Funny things I get asked”, because I got a lot of funny questions about myself or my ‘whereabouts’, but from now on I will start writing them down, because if they make me laugh, they might make you giggle, too!

The latest one (asked twice in less than two weeks):

Are you from England?

This is too funny! In Down Under people thought my English sounds American, here some people think it’s English… I think England has some of the strangest accents.. Well…I’m guessing 98% of the people I met haven’t been to England and most of those probably have never been outside the US, but if they think they cannot decipher where I’m from and it then must be England, it is too funny, because that’s how I made up my mind in Australia – don’t know what that accent is; must be English. But if it means “oh, you’re using vocabulary that I haven’t heard before, then it must be British..” I totally agree; I’m more English than American. Come on, the American English is really limited in the amount of words…but that’s another topic.

missycola, Planet Cola -

My today’s personal recommendations by Amazon.com are very strange and make me think:

Curricle & Chaise – Romance needed? Yes! Good guess Amazon!
40 Unforgettable Dates With Your Mate – A date might be overdue, how did you know Amazon?
Rough and Tender – It’s just the question what we are talking about here… me?
Kindle US Power Adapter – Oh yes, my Kindle didn’t come with one and it also doesn’t last two months as it states, but I won’t get this tiny thing for this ridiculous price.
Life Management – I could use some of that please.
Mountain Woman – Yep, I guess that’s my soon new me.

Lead with LUV: A Different Way To Create Real Success – Am I not successful enough?
Waiting For Rudi – Who is Rudi?

Also:
A Man Walks Into A Bar – How about a missy walks into a bar? Haven’t done THAT for a while and am craving a drink with friends and mr.natey!

Circle Of Friends Cookbook – Friends…oh yeah, they are too far away and deeply missed.

The Vegan Slow Cooker – Could be my current answer to the American Fast Food. Also I’m eating more vegan than ever before (due to allergies and health reasons).

missycola, Planet Cola -

DE
Der kleine Maulwurf graebt sich bis nach Frankreich. Da sagt er: “Guten Tag. Ich bin der kleine Maulwurf mit dem kleinen gruenen Eimer. Gebt mir alles, was ihr habt!” Die Franzosen geben ihm ganz viel Baguette und Rotwein. Er graebt sich weiter bis nach Deutschland. Sagt: “Guten Tag, ich bin der kleine Maulwurf mit dem kleinen gruenen Eimer, gebt mir alles, was ihr habt!” Die Deutschen geben ihm ganz viel Schwarzbrot und Kartoffeln. Schliesslich graebt er sich weiter bis nach Polen. “Guten Tag, ich bin der kleine Maulwurf mit dem…Verdammt, wo ist mein Eimer?!”

EN
The little mole digs himself to France and says: “Hello. I am the little mole with the small green bucket. Give me everything you have!” The French give him baguette and red wine. He digs further until reaching Germany. Says: “Hello, I am the little mole with the small green bucket, give me everything you have!” The Germans give him rye bread and potatoes. He continues digging and reaches Poland. “Hello, I am the little mole with the…damn, where is my bucket?!”

Just realised that I don’t know any jokes about Australia or its neighbouring countries…what kind of jokes are people telling each other here? I should probably know by now, but I don’t.

missycola, Planet Cola -

A blonde texts her b/f saying “what does IDK stand for”, He texts back “i don’t know” She replies “OMG nobody does!”

(b/f=boyfriend…just in case, YOU were wondering)

Loving this one…very funny!
But could easily happen if e.g. our parents would ask us after they’ve seen this “IDK” in an online chat or in a message/email…

:lol:

(via facebook)

missycola, Planet Cola -

missycola, Planet Cola -

thanks to mau, where i found this:

Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The question asked was:

“Could you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”

The survey was a massive failure because of the following:
1. In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant.
3. In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant.
4. In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant.
5. In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant.
6. In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant.
7. In the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.
8. In Australia they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

somehow mean and sad, but so funny!

missycola, Planet Cola -

(click to enlarge)

Tupper macht mich ganz wuschig.

Oft bin ich mir hier unten aber auch nicht sicher, ob der Rechtschreibfehler nicht eher eine Wissensluecke ist. Nathan, als angehender Professor, der mit jungen Studenten zu tun hat, die ihm assignments (deutsches Aquivalent???) abliefern, sagt, “…die [aussies+multikultis] schreiben hier, wie sie reden, Schatz, dein Englisch ist perfekt, mach dir keine Sorgen”.

missycola, Planet Cola -

Wer hats live gesehen, bzw. gehoert im deutschen Fernsehen?
Ich link sowas lieber hier weg….das ZDF, die machen aber auch Sachen…nej nej nej. Hier gibts den Lacher.

missycola, Planet Cola -